Today marks the 19th anniversary of the September 11th, 2001 attacks. To echo the Reddit post, I grieve more deeply with the city where the event took place and the nation on this 9/11 anniversary.

During the weekly COVID response unit meeting this morning, a colleague commemorated 9/11- she remembers it as one of the hardest times in her career. She did not narrate much about her specific public health response at the time, but I imagine the 9/11 response by the city health department being similar to the current COVID efforts. This is certain: from both crises, we have lost our loved ones and too many.

I was not living in New York City or even in the U.S. on 9/11/01. My visual memory of it is still clear. I watched the attacks on television- an airplane crashing into Twin Towers, the world’s tallest buildings then, and subsequently, explosions of fire and smokes rising. I was in fourth grade. I asked why anyone would do such evil. I was saddened by the pain that the New Yorkers and other Americans were enduring. Later in college, my friends would recount their reactions and experiences from that day. They were dismissed from school early and mourned the tragedy with their families.

Seeing and listening to the news is one thing, but directly witnessing and living through 9/11 in NYC must have been surreal. Even after almost 20 years, the city has not stopped grieving. From what I’ve been gathering from my colleagues in the Department of Health, it was a time when the city showed its true resilience and tenacity. First responders, fire fighters, paramedics, police officers and providers all came together in full force to rescue and heal the victims and their families. It’s remarkable how they were able to restore the World Trade Center and the entire city.

Today the city is experiencing another collective trauma. In March 2020, a Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19) epidemic broke out, making NYC the COVID epicenter of the country for four months. Almost 20,000 New Yorkers died from COVID so far. Following lockdown and business closures, the city is grappling with economic repercussions of the epidemic. The infection rate and death toll may have decreased now, and the city may have reopened for the most part. However, COVID is still going around. With no treatment or vaccine for the disease, the city’s prospects are up in the air.

I am sad to see the current state of the city- it’s quieter than what we are used to. The city was full of energy and vibrancy that attracted many dreamers including me. I have faith in New York, though. That’s why I never left like some cowards who abandoned their flats and fled the city.